Makeup or not?

     I was having a good day until I got home.  I did my makeup tonight and at first I thought, "Man I look sexy!"  IT felt like a huge self esteem booster.  I had successfully done the winged looked which I haven't been able to do since high school and I felt great about it.  I felt like for once I had made some kind of effort to look nice and have fun in public.  Now this may be an everyday thing for everyone but not me, it used to be me but not anymore.  I don't really wear makeup anymore.  It tends to feel more like a chore unless I really want to do something with my face.  For some reason I didn't feel like it was really worth it.  When I came home after going to the movies with a friend I just couldn't help but ask the question, "Is this really me?", "Do I want to look like this all the time?, "If I put a face on every day will people only see that, the face I put on and not me?" Sometimes it can be hard for people to look past makeup.  I mean even today I saw a post on Tumblr of before and after pictures of girls who were wearing makeup.  It was almost like they were ashamed of themselves and had to use "makeup magic" enable to feel better about themselves.  They looked dramatically different to the point that you wouldn't even recognize them if you saw them without makeup on walking down the street.  Why is that?  Do we live in a society today that doesn't allow people to feel good about themselves?  I have seen many speeches about the subject of media molding girls into thinking that they need to be a certain way and I do believe it plays a part in the question of why we feel this way.  Are there other reasons though.  Why should a woman feel like she has to impress anyone but herself?  Why should a person use makeup that covers their entire face and use bronzers to essentially reshape their faces?  Tonight even though I didn't use that much makeup (I only focus on my eyes and the occational powder) I still felt like it was an important question to ask, "Is this the face that I want people to see?"  My answer was no.  I don't want people to see me as my makeup.  I want to my kind of beautiful, and not what my teenage self would have considered beautiful.  I have changed so much over these last few years and my image of myself has changed.  I no longer wake up 2 hours before I leave for school, or anywhere for that matter, to do my hair and makeup.  I don't feel like it is important anymore.  I think what strikes me the most is that I felt like I was hiding behind the makeup.  I wanted to be seen, but not as someone who was simple.  I wanted to be seen as mysterious and interesting.  Makeup doesn't change who I am on the inside and I should know better than that.  Anyway, the makeup is off.  I may use makeup every now and then but it will better represent me and not what I think is cooler than me because I am SimpleMEnotyou.

Wow I feel a lot better.  For anyone who is struggling with image please don't be ashamed of yourself because it isn't what is on the outside that makes your beautiful, it is just SimplyYOU that makes YOU beautiful.

Before with makeup

With no makeup

this is an older picture but it was the best close up picture with no makeup I got haha